


How To Win Your Best Friends Heart(By Being a Huge Dork)

by Madiedoodle



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Modern Fic, bit of a war fic, but mainly the commandos, random appearences of various avengers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 18:40:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7326010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madiedoodle/pseuds/Madiedoodle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers has never been and never will be smooth. But he manages to win his best friends heart either way. Now it's just a question of who's proposal was more official or not.</p><p>A modern AU, through school, through war, and through love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To Win Your Best Friends Heart(By Being a Huge Dork)

Steven Grant Rogers had never ever been smooth. Granted, he had his charms, but he had never been even remotely smooth when it came to romance. At least, not on purpose. His charm came from his honestness, his wit, and the fact that he was so obliviously awkward that it would make anyone in their right mind a little weak at the knees. The little stammer he got when he was nervous was honestly endearing, and the way he twiddled his thumbs and wrings his hands when he speaks was its own kind of charming. 

But for the life of him, he couldn’t be smooth. The day he shuffled up to James Barnes, hands shoved in his pockets to keep himself from twiddling his thumbs nervously, trying his best to make eye contact. The “I-Is this seat taken?” much less confidant sounding as he planned, but James Barnes smiled at him anyway and nodded, taking his backpack off the chair and letting Steve sit. Steve stood there, looking at the now empty chair in surprise, and James just raised an eyebrow, looking up at him expectantly.

“You gonna sit?” he asked, not unkindly, but more friendly than most kids spoke to Steve, and Steve mechanically sat down, mentally both kicking and high fiving himself for successfully making it to the table and getting a seat, but damn had he been awkward about it. James didn’t seem to mind though as he turned to talk to Steve. “So Steve, do you watch X-Files?” he asked, and Steve immediately perked up. James Barnes actually knew his name without an introduction, and he watched X-Files? 

“U-ummm yeah I do. I’m a couple of episodes behind for this season though.” He said, and Bucky nodded sagely, taking a drink of his school bought milk and wrinkling his nose in distaste, eying the carton with betrayal.

“Doing the summer reading?” he asked after putting the carton down and leaning on the table.

“Yeah, procrastination is my best friend at the moment.” He said, and James Barnes actually laughed, at a joke he had made! 

“Same, honestly, To Kill a Mockingbird is a great book but reading it for class just takes the shine out of it.” James replied, and Steve nodded, sandwich now forgotten as the subject of one of his all-time favorite books came up.

“To Kill a Mockingbird is one of the most important books we will ever read but they absolutely ruin it with their worksheets and their symbolism and their ignoring the commentary on racism and prejudice that it truly is. I’ll bet you twenty dollars that Mr. Schmidt won’t even really talk about the prejudice in the novel. It’s a tragedy honestly, blasphemy against the novel and a kick in the face to what Atticus Finch stands for as a character.” He said heatedly, and Bucky still only raised an eyebrow, listening intently as Steve ranted about the novel.

“You really think Schmidt will completely ignore the whole point of the novel?” Bucky asked after Steve was done, and Steve nodded vehemently. 

“That man is as prejudiced as it gets, he’s just good at hiding it from the administration. Him and Zola would get rid of anybody who doesn’t fit their image of the perfect student. Have you seen the way they treat Gabe and Morita?” he said, and James shook his head no.

“I haven’t noticed, I just thought they were grouchy all the time. I didn’t really think anyone was really racist anymore.” James said, and Steve shrugged.

“It’s crazy to think about, how people can still be racist. But it’s still a thing.” He replied, and Bucky nodded, looking over to where Gabe, Morita, and Dugan sat, joking around and being as loud as usual. 

“That ain’t right.” He said, and Steve just nodded his head, because it really wasn’t right. But there was nothing he could do about it, not really. Teachers weren’t bullies he could get in fights with, they were adults who had authority and power. All he could do was put the occasional thumb tack on a chair and generally make their lives a little bit more difficult. 

James Barnes had bigger plans. Once he noticed the way things were going with some of the teachers, he raised hell. 

“Mr. Schmidt, are the points that Harper Lee makes on the racism of the white population still relevant today?” he asked one day in class, completely interrupting Mr. Schmidt’s comment on the imagery of the scene and how it highlighted the time frame, or some other nonsense that completely glossed over the true point of the scene. 

“Mr. Zola, weren’t most of those experiments done illegally on prisoners in concentration camps?” he asked, when Zola spoke about bone, muscle and nerve transplantation and how the doctors’ original experiments were instrumental in advancing our modern medicine, ignoring the fact that it was all medical torture and touting it as one of the greatest doctorial achievements of all time.

The comments continued, the students listening and commenting and questioning, as Zola and Schmidt became more uncomfortable, dancing around the questions. James got sent to the office more often than not for disrupting the class, but came back without so much as a reprimand, much to the chagrin of Zola and Schmidt. ‘Apparently asking relevant questions about the topic isn’t against school rules” he would say whenever he walked back into the class, and then sit back down in his desk. He was Steve’s hero, and apparently all of the other students who had been belittled or otherwise treated poorly by the two. Morita, Gabe, and Dugan quickly joined them at the table in the lunch room, and with them came the foreign exchange students Jacques and James. When James Falsworth came to the table was the day Steve learned of James Barnes nickname, and he couldn’t be more delighted. 

Bucky was much more fun of a name, and the group of guys took to each other quickly. It was the most friends Steve had ever had and he was grateful for it. 

 

*********

 

Making friends did not make Steve any smoother. It actually made it much, much worse, because Steven Grant Rogers made the unfortunate mistake of falling head over heels for one of his friends. James Buchanan Barnes, dork to the extreme, Steve’s hero, and official best friend. It wasn’t surprising really, Bucky was smooth and quite the charmer. With his eyes and his face and his rough Brooklyn accent and…. well. A lot could be said as to why Bucky was great, too much to be precise. The one problem, or one of the problems, was that being in love made Steve all kinds of awkward. More awkward than usual, if one could believe it. Despite his growth spurt, despite growing out of his asthma, despite finally getting rid of that scoliosis, Steve could not manage to keep it together around his crush, even if that crush was his best friend. Lucky for him he could play it off as being nervous about the future, but that excuse would only last so long, especially when not only the Commandos were noticing, but Bucky himself. 

“Stevie, what’s been up with you lately?” he asked one morning, the kitchen of their apartment smelling strongly of coffee and shoe polish as Bucky polished his boots. Steve shook his head at the sight as he walked into the room, but blanched at Bucky’s question.

“Nothin’, Buck. Everything’s been A-Okay on my end.” He said, and Bucky raised his eyebrow in a way that Steve had learned was all Natasha’s fault. 

“Obviously not, and I wanna know why. You hardly talk to me anymore, punk. I miss you.” He said, and Steve blinked, looking over at Bucky and seeing his sad face. The army uniform on the ironing board, the boots on the counter, the letter he knew was on Bucky’s bed side table. They all reminded Steve that Bucky was going to be gone. Gone, possibly never coming back. Not just Bucky, but all of the guys, all of them but Steve. He sat down heavily at the counter, across from Bucky.

“I…..I just…..” he said, and sighed again, running a hand through his hair and trying to avoid looking at Bucky. “I’m gonna miss you so much.” he said finally, and Bucky’s eyes softened. 

“Is that what this is about?” he said, putting down the shoe polish and moving around the counter. He slung an arm around Steve’s shoulders, knocking their heads together lightly. “You know this ain’t the nineteen hundreds. I can text and call and skype with you, all of the boys can. I sure as hell will miss you too, but you can’t shut me out just because I’m leaving.” He said, and Steve took the explanation. It wasn’t the whole reason, but it would work. 

“Who’s gonna call me on my bullshit when you’re gone?” he asked, and Bucky laughed, ruffling his hair and moving back to where he sat before. 

“I’m pretty sure Peg and Angie and Nat can do that job quite nicely.” He said, and Steve smiled. It was a well-known fact that Peggy, Angie, and Natasha would take no shit from anybody. Especially Steve’s pining after his best friend kind of bullshit, but that’s beside the point. 

“Won’t be the same without you.” He said, and Bucky nodded.

“Who knows, maybe someone’ll figure out how to fix your hearing thing and you’ll join me, one of these days.” Bucky said, and Steve huffed, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah yeah, when that happens I’ll be sure to tell you.” He said, and that was the end of that conversation.

It was two weeks later and the boys were leaving, all off for basic training, and Steve stood there and watched as they all climbed onto the bus that would take them to who knew where (Bucky had actually told Steve exactly where, but that was beside the point). Steve watched sadly as Bucky waved back at him, and Steve waved along with the rest of them, scrounging up a smile. It felt like the end of something, and Steve didn’t know why. He knew that Bucky would always be his best friend, but it would be different. Bucky would be on the other side of the world, risking his life. And Steve was stuck there, getting a damned art degree and living in their now half empty apartment. He felt insignificant, which was ridiculous because Bucky would never think any less of him for not being able to enlist, but he blamed himself anyways. If only he was better, less disabled, more….just more. But he wasn’t, so he waved to his best friend and left the airport, listening as Peggy and Angie chatted about the new apartment they were looking at. He couldn’t find it in himself to be jealous of them, but he did wish he could have that in his life. 

Buck hadn’t even been gone for a full day, and he missed him. He was just so ridiculous, it was embarrassing. 

 

**********

 

They all finished training around the same time, a little over three months of just training. Steve got to hear all about it, as they finished basic in the usual ten weeks, moving on to whatever specialized training it was they had to do. No one was surprised when Dernier went to demolitions, his escapades with fireworks and other such explosive adventures had made it the obvious path for him. Gabe went to comms and translation, his love of languages making that as unsurprising as Dernier’s choice. Morita on navigation with Dum-Dum, and Falsworth on Combat engineering made sense too. It Bucky’s specialization that caught Steve by surprise. Sniper training was supposed to be intense, and he knew that being a sniper wasn’t any less intense than the training. But Bucky made it through that training too, all of the boys did. Steve listened to all of their stories, heard about how they had all been titled the Howling Commandos (a colorful story involving streaking and having to get dressed very very quickly for training. Some articles of clothing had been misplaced. It was quite complicated.) 

And then they were off, out of training and on the other side of the world. He got regular calls, regular updates, pictures and videos and all kinds of souvenirs from the random marketplaces they had been exploring. He sent them things in kind, drawings and snacks, cigars for Dugan because he knew the man just really enjoyed the aesthetic of them, pack after pack of playing cards because the boys just couldn’t manage to keep track of all the cards (he found out later that they liked to throw the cards up and see who could shoot them- Bucky always won). They came to visit for twenty days, right before they deployed. It was strange, seeing them in their uniforms, in various states of officialness, Dugan wearing a bowler hat that he had picked up somewhere. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Bucky, and he would have rolled his eyes at himself if he wasn’t so busy looking. It turns out that even three months of not being constantly around Bucky had not dulled his love infatuation of his best friend. Which was unfortunate. 

Bucky spotted him and immediately jumped into his arms, feet leaving the ground and forcing Steve to catch him. It was absolutely ridiculous, and so Bucky, and he laughed, shaking his head and grinning at the other guys as they greeted their families. Winifred, George, and Becca quickly engulfed Bucky, who Steve was still carrying, and it was the happiest Steve had been in a couple of months. He had missed his best friend.  
The ensuing party at the Barnes house was loud and jovial and Steve sat in his usual chair, nursing the beer that George had handed him and watching everyone interact. He could see Peggy and Angie dancing in the living room, Natasha sitting on the counter and chatting with Becca. The Boys, who now insisted on being called the Commandos, were playing darts in the dining room. It seemed as though Morita was winning, if the amount of groans coming from the crowd was any indication, and Steve smiled as he watched all the interaction. 

He almost didn’t notice when someone sat down next to him, the shoulder bumped against him indicating who it was. 

“Hey pal, what’s got you down?” Bucky asked, and Steve turned to look at him. His hair was shorter and he was more still in his seat, but it was still his Bucky, exact same blue eyes and exact same smile. 

“Nothin’, just glad everyone’s back for a little while.” He said, and Bucky raised an eyebrow skeptically. Apparently that hadn’t changed either. “I just missed you, Buck.” Steve elaborated, and Bucky smile, shaking his head. 

“I missed you too, punk. I was worried about what you’d manage to get yourself into without us to back you up. But you seem to be doin’ just fine.” He said, smiling and taking a drink of the beer that he’d stolen from Steve. 

“What trouble could I get into, you took all the stupid with you.” He replied, and Bucky laughed, throwing an arm around Steve’s shoulder and shaking his head. 

“Fair point.” He said, removing his arm and bumping shoulders with Steve. They sat there in companiable silence for a couple of moments, giving Steve a chance for his natural awkwardness to kick in. So when a Frank Sinatra song came on the speakers and Bucky dragged Steve up to dance, his hands got sweaty really quickly and he stuttered in his efforts to refuse. Bucky just laughed and ignored his protests, dragging him into the living room and pulling him to dance. 

Steve’s weak complaint of “W-why do I have to be the girl” was given an eye roll in response, and they were dancing. Steve’s two left feet caused a few laughs between the two as Come Fly With Me played and they danced. The jeers of The Commandos were studiously ignored, and Steve tried his very best not to turn bright red. He was sure he had failed, but he could at least hope for the best. The song ended, and Bucky had his arm thrown over Steve’s shoulder again, laughing heartily the way he always did and Steve closed his eyes, wishing that this could be just a little bit different. 

It was hours later, and Steve was sitting on the balcony, looking out at the city and listening to the laughter and chatter of his friends. He sketched, the scene behind him coming together on the paper. Morita and Dugan still playing darts, trying to break the tie that they had managed to perpetuate the entire night. Dernier and Gabe sat at the table, chattering happily in French. Angie, Peggy, Becca, and Falsworth were at the snack table, talking about who knew what. Natasha had left earlier in the night, classes in the morning requiring her to go to sleep earlier than the rest. Steve inserted her into the scene, placing her at the dart board with Dugan and Morita, a glint in her eye as she watched because she knew she could beat them if she decided to. George and Winifred were standing in the kitchen doorway, watching happily as the group of people they cared about talked and joked and messed around. Steve turned around, trying to find Bucky in the scene of people so he could properly draw him in, and found the man himself standing in the balcony doorway, watching him. It was disconcerting, how quiet Bucky could be, and Steve would have startled if it had been anyone other than Bucky. 

“Need something, Buck?” he asked, putting down his pencil and turning the chair around to face him. 

“Nothing much. I just noticed you weren’t inside, figured you’d be out here.” He said, and pulled up a chair beside Steve. It was silly, the way Steve noticed how Bucky’s eyes looked in the light of the city. He looked more tan, more fit, which is to be expected after so much time spent outside and on the move. It was silly, the way he noticed Bucky licking his lips, and absolutely absurd how he wanted to reach out and brush Bucky’s unruly bangs out of his eyes, as if this was some sort of cheesy romance movie. He mentally berated himself, scrambling to find something to talk about, as he got more and more nervous. He didn’t think his mind could get any more blank on subjects to talk about.

And then Bucky kissed him. Full on the lips, and Steve’s mind was nothing but white noise. The chatter of the room behind them completely stopped, and Steve wasn’t sure if it was because the world had stopped turning or because his brain had started freaking out. Because this could not possibly be happening. 

Except, it was. He could feel Bucky’s fingers in his hair, and it felt like hours but couldn’t have been more than a minute before Bucky pulled away. “Holy shit” was all Steve had to say on the matter, because he just was not smooth, ever, and Bucky laughed, rolling his eyes.

“I take it that was fine then?” he asked quietly, and Steve nodded, eyes still wide as he realized exactly what had just happened. Bucky Barnes, his best friend and long time crush, had just kissed him. On the lips. On purpose. Steve felt like a stupid teenager again, but he couldn’t even find it within himself to care. Because James Buchanan Barnes had just kissed him.”

“Definitely.” He replied, and then Bucky was kissing him again. 

He definitely wasn’t imagining the clapping, and they broke apart to find the entire contents of the room watching them, the Commando’s howling and cheering and applauding. Dugan’s shout of “about damn time” earned laughter from the others, and Steve turned a bright shade of red, as he generally did when embarrassed. 

“Yeah yeah, now get back to your game.” Bucky said, leaning into Steve and waving the crowd of friends back into the house. Bucky turned back to Steve and winked. “They’re right though, it is about damn time.” He said, and headed back into the house. Steve shook his head, watching him go, and he was pretty sure he couldn’t be happier. 

“Wait, hold on a second you jerk, what does that even mean?!” he asked suddenly, entering the apartment and earning a laugh from Bucky, who just shook his head and grinned at him, that shit eating grin that Steve had always thought was the greatest thing in the world, even when it meant trouble.

*********

 

Tony Stark was a god send. That was Steve’s main view on the man. An absolute genius and Steve’s savior. Tony Stark, who ended up being Steve’s college roommate, and a bonafied genius with every form of engineering and science and math and everything in general. Despite their rocky start, in which Tony assumed Steve must be an idiot because he’s an art major and Steve assumed that Tony was a prejudiced jerk wad because he was the son of Howard Stark, they learned to get along rather well. 

But Tony did not become Steve’s favorite person until almost a year and a half of friendship, when Tony realized that Steve was actually partially deaf. Not really impaired, but enough to keep him out of the army. “Steven Grant Rogers, why didn’t you say something before? I could have solved this problem easy as can be and sent you packing much earlier.” He said loudly, twirling in his chair and pushing off of his desk and to the closet. He rummaged around in there for a couple of minutes and then pulled out a tablet and a packet of papers, rolling back to the desk and pulling out a pencil. “Now, how long have you been deaf for? What caused it?” he asked, and Steve blinked, forehead crinkling in confusion as he wondered how Tony could possible fix his hearing problems. 

“Sensorineural hearing loss, from birth. It hasn’t gotten any worse from when I was a kid, but I used to wear a hearing aid since I couldn’t read lips as well. It’s not so bad, but it’s bad enough that the military doesn’t want me.” He said as Tony scribbled madly. It was always strange, the way Tony threw himself into his projects, but this one seemed to take him a lot less time than usual.

“Perfect, let me make some calls. Do you have a weekend free any time soon? I have a friend who can fix you right up.” He said, and Steve blinked again.

“Wait, Tony, hold on. Are you saying that you can fix my hearing damage?” he said, and Tony nodded at him like he was stupid. “I’ve done quite a bit of research, and no one has had anything that could fix it. How can you possibly fix it?” he asked, and Tony gave him that look that said ‘how dare you question my obvious genius’.

“I had a butler who was losing his hearing. So I looked into it, and badabing-badaboom, I developed a solution with the help of my lovely friend Helen. She’s a wizard of a biologist, the very best. We found a way to regenerate cells, specifically cochlear hair cells, which will cure your sensorineural hearing damage. But the procedure’s not open to the public yet, testing trials and all that. You’d be the perfect subject.” He said with obvious glee, and Steve felt like he should be suspicious, but was too excited about the idea of finally being able to enlist. 

“You’re serious?” he asked, and Tony nodded, crossing his heart with his fingers before pulling out his phone and making a phone call. 

“Hey Helen it’s Tony, we’ve got ourselves a guinea pig. Yeah, my roommate actually. Yeah it’ll be perfect.” He said, and then looked over at Steve after a short pause. “You busy this weekend?” he asked, and Steve shook his head no. Finals were over after this week, and Steve would be free, avoiding the parties as he usually did. “Perfect, yeah this weekend’ll work. See you then” he said and then hung up the phone, grinning at Steve. “This’ll be great, Steviekins.” He said, and for some reason Steve trusted that he was right. 

And as per usual, Tony Stark was right. A month and a half later Steven Grant Rogers could hear better than your average man, and the recruiter was entirely surprised with this change of events, accusing him of somehow cheating on the hearing test. It wasn’t until a call was made to Tony that the situation was resolved, and Steve could finally, finally, finally enlist. 

 

********

 

It had been a couple of months since he had last seen Bucky. Sure, he had gotten a call here and there, but it was different. Years of being in constant contact made the lack seem so much bigger, and Steve missed it. The time they had had when Bucky was last on leave had not been enough, not by far, and he missed his boyfriend quite a bit. Waving goodbye to Peggy, Angie, and Nat as he got on the bus was a sad goodbye, but he knew he was getting closer to where he had always dreamed of being, and closer to Bucky. 

The bus stopped and he was there, he was final there. Camp Lehigh wasn’t actually particularly far away from Brooklyn, but it felt like a whole new world. Bucky had told Steve countless stories about the shenanigans that they had all gotten up to during basic, and Steve just hoped time would go faster so he could make it out of there and to wherever Bucky was. It wasn’t guaranteed, but at least he’d end up somewhere much closer to Bucky than Brooklyn. 

It was quite the change, the order and the routine and all the shouting and orders, something Steve certainly wasn’t used to. But he liked it, felt like he might just be at home, despite the roughness of the other men and the occasionally frustrating comments and orders. He took the shouting and the verbal abuse of Captain Phillips, deciding on day one that the man might be a hard ass, but he was a hard ass that just wanted to make sure only the best made it through training, and that those men became the absolute best that they could be. He took the punishments he was issued for the fight he got into with Brock Rumlow, another recruit that Steve just could not get along well with, not with the way he treated some of the other recruits and not with the cocky smile and careless attitude that would get someone killed if he ever made it to the field. 

It was sixteen weeks of order and learning and pushing himself farther than he’d ever had to go before, of exhaustion and frustration and joy, as he excelled, thrived, and learned. He always knew that the army was something he had to do, and now he was done with Basic Training, ‘top of the batch’ as Phillips called him. He had made it, and it hadn’t even truly begun yet. 

He laughed himself silly when he actually managed to get thrown into Bucky and the Boys’ unit, sitting on his bunk and looking at the papers, with the note messily scrawled onto a Post-It from Bucky, a ‘see you soon punk’ with the chicken scratch signatures of all the others. It was a miracle, managing to make it into the Howling Commando’s, and the other recruits spoke with envy, the Commando’s somehow having become well known across Camp Lehigh, a tight unit that hadn’t taken any new members in in all of their almost three years as a unit. Until Steve. He didn’t let on that he knew all of the men on the Commando’s, just grinning and packing his stuff, shaking General Phillips’ hand and heading to the plane that was to take him to who knows where (he knew exactly where, but that was beside the point). 

 

He stepped off the plane, only to be tackled by six idiotic grown men. Six idiotic grown men who happened to be his best friends. It was a relief, to see them all in one piece, all joking around, light hearted as ever. He laughed as he was passed from man to man, hugged thoroughly by each of them until eventually he was uncerimoniously passed to Bucky. Steve, the dorkiest of all, king of all awkward, immediately tripped and fell on his ass, leaving no other options for his boyfriend other than to double over laughing. It was a glorious moment on post, everyone watching in awe as the notorious Commandos roared with laughter, toppling into eachother as they doubled over with arms braced on their knees. Steve just laid back on the ground, too tired to be embarrassed, and watched his boyfriend laugh himself silly. 

“Hey Buck. Didn’t see you there.” He said. Going for smooth, and Bucky only smiled, offering him a hand up as the other guys tried to calm themselves. 

“Sure punk. Welcome to post. I missed you.” Bucky whispered as he hugged him, and Steve smiled, shaking his head. 

“Don’t get sappy on me Barnes.” He said teasingly back, letting his hand rest for a moment on the small of Bucky’s back before bringing his arm up to rest around Bucky’s soldiers.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, punk. Now, hows ‘bout me and the boys show you around?” he replied, steering Steve towards the line up of tents. The feeling of Bucky’s arm around his shoulders, the sun beating down on them, surrounded by the Commandos, Steve had never been happier than he was right then. He had everything he had ever wanted. 

*******

 

War didn’t let you live happily for very long. 

It was supposed to be a routine mission. There wasn’t supposed to be any enemies, just a regular check on the supply run, a day and a half march, nothing big, nothing they hadn’t done before. But the sound of a drone overhead alerted them that they had been wrong, the sound of branches snapping in the jungle as the enemy came to them. The world turned upside down after that, heavy fire volleying at them, an attempt to return the favor in kind. Steve lost track of everyone, random snippets of words and swearing over the Comm lines the only thing alerting him that any of them were still alive. 

It was over as quick as it started, enemy fire disappearing with its men, and Steve was left to his cover, looking around in suspicion as he waited for the enemy to return. But after full minutes of no sound, he braved the open, spotting where each of the men were. Steve waited for Bucky’s commanding voice over the Comms, but there was only silence, and Steve fought to suppress the fear rising in his chest. 

“Commando’s, Meet Point Alpha, ten minutes.” He said, voice ruff, and listened as each of the Commando’s called in an affirmative. Still no sign of Bucky’s voice, no sign of Bucky at all.  
Ten minutes, and everyone was at the Meet Point, except for Bucky. Everyone was in various states, Morita with a gun shot wound to the leg being the only injury, an in and out flesh wound that was quickly bandaged up. Other than that, the usual scrapes and bruises of diving for cover covered them. The only real damage was done to their moral, as they waited for Bucky to appear at the Meet Point, or at least the barest hint of his voice over the Comms. But there was nothing, silence, static. 

Steve didn’t know what to do. They searched the point of conflict, and Steve saw no sign of a body, no injury, nothing. Bucky had simply vanished along with the enemy, a thought that made bile rise up in Steve’s throat. Bucky, a prisoner of war. Trapped and alone and tortured. And they had no idea how to find him. 

His first call was to Colonal Phillips, an update on the mission, the meeting of the enemy, and the capture of Sergeant Barnes. Phillips was a frugal man, knew the team, knew the players, but he also knew the enemy. 

“Rogers, you cant go guns blazing into enemy land. We aren’t authorized to strike their camp, not yet. Let me make calls, get authorization. If this goes sideways, I can’t have your team getting court martialed. I know what Barnes means to all of you, but do not engage until authorized. Do you hear me Rogers?” Phillips said, and Steve took a deep breath, fighting the need to argue, to insist, to beg. But Phillips couldn’t grant authorization at the drop of the hat, not even for a captured soldier. 

“Yes, sir.” He said trying not to let the frustration show in his voice.

“Gather intel, find where they went, but do not engage.” Phillips said finally, before signing off. Steve turned to the team, catching each of their eyes as they waited for the orders. 

“We are not to engage. Gather intel, find out anything we can, where he is, the schedule of the place, number of enemy, if there are any other friendlies in the area. But we are not to engage until authorized.” He said, teeth grinding together in frustration. The others looked restless and just as frustrated with the news as he was, packing their things so they could move out. 

“We can’t just leave Sarge there until the Brass pulls their thumbs out of their asses and cuts through the red tape.” Dugan said, and the others grumbled in agreement, though they knew it was what they would have to do. 

“Phillips will get the orders through as soon as he can, I trust him.” Came from Gabe, and Steve knew he was right. But that didn’t do anything to sooth the turmoil of emotions wroiling in his gut, as he thought over what could be happening to Bucky. They had all seen POWs before, men who got captured. Even the shortest time was enough to change a man, and Steve couldn’t bear the thought of Bucky being hurt like that. 

He had to make some calls. 

 

******

 

In almost a year in the army, Steve had made quite a few new friends. Sam Wilson was one of them, a pilot, a pararescue, and also a friend of Tony’s. All skills that they needed then and there. Walking into Sam’s quarters, Steve could see pictures on the walls by Sam’s bunk, the case in which Sam kept his tech, and Sam himself, sitting on his bunk and polishing his boots. Sam looked up as Steve walked in, and put down the boots as he took in the look on Steve’s face. 

“Where to?” was all he said, and for that Steve was grateful. 

“Reconissance mission, enemy camp, possible rescue. We can meet you on the chopped pad. Bring Redwing.” Steve said, and Sam nodded, standing to gather his gear. 

“I can be there in 30. Have your men ready.” Sam said, and with that Steve left, a quick ‘Thank you Sam’ whispered as he went out the door. 

Thirty minutes later they were loading the copter, Steve briefing Sam on coordinates and the known info, Sam taking it all in stride as he checked everything over. Sam was smart, and quickly realized what they were headed for, noticing the missing Sergeant and giving Steve a sad look. Sam knew what Steve was going through, better than anybody. 

“We’ll get your boy back.” Was all he said, clapping Steve on the shoulder and climbing into the control seat, leaving Steve to climb back in with the Commandos. Everyone looked eager to take off, to get started on their mission, to get Bucky back. 

“Welcome to Disneyworlds Soaring Over Fucking Desert Hell, please keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the ride at all times.” Sam said over the speaker as they all strapped in, reminding them that it wouldn’t do for them to get thrown out of the copter if any hard turns were to occur. The joke would usually get a few chuckles out of the group, but they were to on edge. They had to get Bucky back. 

********

 

It had been days. Days of watching, day of waiting. Days and nights of Sam sending Redwing out, the drone silently checking everything in the camp out. In those days, they had seen Bucky twice, as he was dragged from one tent or building to another. Those sightings had made Steve physically ill, all the men shaken as the sight of Bucky came up on the screen. 

Bucky was a mess. Pale, sweating, unconscious one of the sightings and in some sort of complacent daze the second time. He looked practically dead, and with no more sightings of him, he may very well have died while they waited for orders from up high. 

They knew everything about the camp. The number of men, the layout, the firepower, where they were keeping Bucky. Not just Bucky though. There were others, at least three other prisoners, two from the American army, and one unknown. It was a frightening sight, these men there for an unknown amount of time, trapped, imprisoned, and no one there to retrieve them. It made Steve almost as sick as the sight of Bucky had, and Steve knew they couldn’t wait much longer without taking action. Two weeks of watching, and Steve was just about over the edge. 

The third time they spotted Bucky, face muzzled, eyes hard as he stared down his captors, arms tied back at an unnatural angle, Steve was at the end of his rope. He couldn’t risk it anymore. Court Martial be damned, he was going in.

He was quietly packing his things when they surrounded him, arms crossed, looking at him like he’d grown a second head or something equally ridiculous. 

“You think we’re going to let you waltz off and go in alone, do you?” Morita said, eyebrow raised, and Steve huffed a sigh. 

“I didn’t want to risk you yahoos getting Court Martialed with me.” Steve said, and Dugan rolled his eyes, clamping Steves shoulders in his hands and looking him dead in the eyes. 

“We’ll only get Court Martialled if we fail. And if we don’t fail, we can’t be letting you get all the glory now can we?” he said with finality, and Steve nodded, tension leaving his shoulders. He had been afraid they would try to stop him. But now, with them all together, his plan was starting to look a lot more realistic. 

“Alright…So. I have a plan.” He said, and Sam rolled his eyes. 

“Better hope so, though I wouldn’t put it past you to just walk right in there guns blazing, enemy be damned.” Sam said, and Steve couldn’t help but grin. 

“Good, you know the plan. Let’s go.” He said, earning the collective groans of his team as they scrambled to gather what they needed. 

*******

 

Infiltrating and destroying an enemy camp should be much more difficult than it actually was. Their intel was useful, as they entered through the two openings, taking out each guards as each team of the Commandos ghosted through the compound. Body count: 15/26. Body count: 18/26. Body Count: 23/26, until the last three left were the three men guarding the prisoners. It was quick dispatch of the final three, and then Steve was rushing towards the prisoners.

Two of them were standing, eying the team suspiciously before they caught sight of the uniforms. The bland, dull look in their eyes turned to one of relief, one of hope, the despair not leaving their faces but instead softening its hold on them. 

“Captain Steve Rogers, 107th Division.” He said, and the two men nodded, exhausted salutes in acknowledgement. 

“I’m James Rhodes, US Marines.” One of the men said, the one they hadn’t been able to identify his status. 

“Clint Barton, 316th Cavalry.” The other man said, one of the two they had identified as US military. Steve barely heard them though, instead looking to where Bucky laid, muzzle strapped over his face, arms still tied behind his back despite the fact that he was laying on his back. He looked dead, the pale sheen of his skin sickly in the lighting. 

“Dernier, break the lock please.” He said quietly, and watched as it was done. Less than a minutes work seemed to drag on for an hour as he waited for his opportunity to get to Bucky. He went to rush forward once the lock was broken, but a hand on his shoulder held him back. 

“Let Gabe check him out first.” Dugan said, and Steve nodded grudgingly, watching as Gabe hurried to Bucky, kit in hand as he checked him over. Steve forced himself to turn back to the other prisoners. 

“How long have you been held here?” he asked, and the men looked at eachother, shrugging. 

“There’s no sense of time here. All I know is that its been a long ass time. He’s been here the longest, I don’t know how long though.” Rhodes said, gesturing to the sandy haired man that was propped up in the corner of the cell. Steve had barely noticed him before, but the man looked vaguely familiar. It wasn’t until Sam’s choked gasp of “Riley” caught up to him did Steve realize who exactly the man was. 

“Just give me a bit of a time frame. Weeks? Months? Years?” he asked. Barton was the first to respond. 

“Less than a year. Too damn long though, more than half a year. For me at least. They dragged Rhodes in a month after me. The other guy was here before me, I don’t know for how long. He wakes up sometimes, not often, I took to calling him Wilson since he’d mumble about it all the time. And the dude in the muzzle, we have no idea. Got dragged in here not long ago, maybe three weeks, and fought so hard that they muzzled him first thing. Thought they were going to kill him honestly. He one of yours?” Barton said, and noticing the heartbroken look on Steve’s face, realized the mistake. 

“Oh, Bucky.” He whispered, then turned to Sam, shaking his head, focusing on the dazed look on his friends face, as if he were looking at a ghost. 

“He’s. He’s alive Steve. I didn’t go after him, and he’s been alive all this time.” Sam whispered, hands grasping the bars, resting his head against them to get a better look at his partner. 

“You couldn’t have known, Sam. He fell, he fell far. There was no way to know.” Steve said reassuringly, and Sam just looked at him in heartbreak. 

“I gave up on him, Steve. I should have looked….” Sam said, and then moved slowly into the cell until he was directly in front of Riley’s prone body. One of his legs was gone, cut of sometime during his captivity, likely broken beyond repair during his fall. He looked peaceful, as if he had just dozed off for a quick nap, but there could have been any kinds of damage hidden below the surface, unchecked and untreated for the two years he had been missing. 

“What did they do with you while you were held captive?” Steve asked Rhodes and Barton. 

“Nothing. They asked questions at first, but after that they just let us be for the most part. I don’t know what they planned to do with us, there has to have been something. But there were no tests, no torture, at least not for us. I’m not sure about Old Wilson over there, and they sure as hell did something to the other guy.” Rhodes responded, and Steve nodded his head solemnly. 

In that moment Gabe signaled him, and he lost all other thoughts other than to make his way over to Bucky. 

“How is he?” he asked quietly, and Gabe looked up at him. 

“He’ll live. His arms are dislocated, probably broken. He has bruising around his ribs and his neck, probably from beatings, and he must have some sort of head trauma, if not dehydration or starvation. The muzzle must have prevented him from eating or drinking properly. But he’ll live, he’ll be alright.” He said, and Steve practically deflated with relief. The rest of the team visibly relaxed, except for Sam who stood rigid at Riley’s side. Steve wasn’t sure how to help his friend, other than to get all of the men out of there and to medical. 

“Alright, we’re getting out of here. Gabe, please made Riley and Bucky ready for transport. Everyone else, gather our supplies, see if theres anything around the compound worth salvaging, then we’re going to light this shit hole up and head out.” Steve said, and everyone nodded, heading out to do their respective jobs. Steve then turned to Rhodes and Barton. 

“You’ll be coming with us back to base. There’ll be a lot of questions.” Steve said, and the two nodded. 

“They can ask as many damn questions as they want, I just need to call my girlfriend before she comes to find me.” He said, and Rhodes nodded. 

“The sooner we get out of this place the better.” Rhodes said, and Steve couldn’t agree more. 

**********

There arrival back on base was uproarious. Returning with three soldiers assumed killed in action and a known captured soldier was a Big Deal, and they were quickly taken to the Medical tent. Steve was less than willing to let Bucky out of his sight, and Sam looked ready to fight someone to the death to stay with Riley, but they were quickly called for a debriefing in Colonel Phillips’ tent. 

Steve shuffled in, hat metaphorically and literally in hand, expecting a loud and angry confrontation, a dressing down for disobeying orders, perhaps to be arrested. But all he got was silence, as Phillips looked him up and down. 

“You look like shit, Rogers.” Was all he said, and Steve didn’t know what to do with that. 

“Feel like shit, sir.” He replied, and Phillips nodded, continuing to gaze at him. 

“I should punish you, but you did good. Its good to see those men brought home.” Phillips finally said, leaning back in his chair. “After this, Barnes may have to be discharged. Being a prisoner, a war prisoner, especially one treated so badly. He won’t be the same.” Phillips warned, and Steve nodded, eyes hazing over as he thought of what happened to Bucky, and what could still happen. 

“Yes sir.” He replied quietly, and Phillips finally nodded. 

“I’ll tell the other Brass that your team was attacked, and you engaged for your own safety. You and your Boys might end up with a medal, who knows.” He said, and then went back to his writing. “You’re dismissed, Rogers. Go keep an eye on Barnes.” He said, and Steve didn’t need to be told twice, out the door with not even a yes sir. 

He was in the medical tent, keeping watch over Bucky as often as he could. There was a blessed lack of missions, a calm point, allowing him to spend all his free time sitting next to Bucky’s bed, writing reports or going over duties, or any number of things, as he waited for Bucky to wake up. 

It was another week, an awful, slow, painful week before Bucky opened his eyes. It was slow at first, as he opened his eyes, looked around. Him opening and closing his mouth, moving his jaw was what alerted Steve that Bucky was awake, and he was soon there right by the bed, moving slowly so as not to startle Bucky. 

“Buck. Bucky. Hi. Hey. You’re in the med tent on base. You’ve been asleep for a week, you lazy ass, had me worried sick.” Steve said, and he saw Bucky’s brow wrinkle, before recognition caught in his eyes. 

“Stevie.” He said, blinking. Steve watched him try to move his arms, saw the terror when he realized he couldn’t. 

“Bucky, Bucky, its okay. You’ll be fine, your arms are broken but they’ll heal just fine.” Steve said, and watched the immediate terror leave Bucky’s face. 

“Steve. How long? How long was I there? Did you get the others?” Bucky said, his memories now coming back to him, and Steve nodded. 

“You were in there for two weeks. Rhodes and Barton were there for longer, nine months at least, and Riley was there for almost two years. They’re here now.” Steve said, and Bucky nodded, a motion that looked painful, and then laid back. 

“I was so scared, Steve. I didn’t know if you all were dead. If you were alive why wouldn’t they take you too? And… it was bad Stevie. I was glad you weren’t there….they didn’t want anything, they just wanted to have us, like some sort of trophy. It was like I was a pet Stevie, the things they said….. I was so scared” Bucky said, voice thick and tears in his eyes, and Steve felt his legs collapse underneath him as he sat heavily in the chair, tears in his own eyes as he saw how broken Bucky looked. 

“ Buck. Oh, Bucky. It’ll be alright, you’ll see. They’ll get you all fixed up, and after what you’ve been through you could go home, if you wanted.” He said, and Bucky shook his head. 

“And leave you here to get your ass blown up? No way. I like your ass too much to let it get blown up.” He said, voice light and joking, though his eyes were still sad, his face still gaunt, and his hands still strangely still. 

It would take a long time for him to recover from this. But he would. Steve would do everything in his power to make sure of it. 

 

*********

 

Steven Grant Rogers had never been smooth. He’d always been too blunt, too honest, too awkward, and too genuine to truly be smooth. But he had his charms. He must to, for someone like James Buchanan Barnes to fall in love with him. Steve count himself lucky every day, every time he looked over at his boyfriend and saw love in those eyes. Every time Bucky got up to whatever antics of the day, Commandos in tow. 

It had been two years. Two years before the gauntness left Bucky truly, though there was always glimpses of it in his eyes. Still things sent him off. Steve putting a hand over Bucky’s mouth to hush him led to violent flailing, flashbacks and fear, ending in Bucky curled up on the floor, Steve cradling him in his arms. Times when either one of them would get caught up in their memories, when a car backfired and they both dove for cover and waited for the assault. All of them had things, memories, things that had changed them. But they made it out. Four years of soldiering on and they were done, they were out, and they were living their lives. 

At first it was harder to live their lives outside the Army than it was in the army. The world had kept going without them, and it seemed they’d been left behind. But they were quick to catch up. Commando Movie Night became a weekly thing, watching all the movies they’d missed. Sure they’d had the opportunity to see a couple of them while they were enlisted, but they had missed enough. 

But they caught up, life went on, life was good, life was great. Life was nigh on perfect. Sometimes Steve thought he couldn’t be happier. Laying with his feet resting in Bucky’s lap as Bucky read the latest part of the Women’s Murder Club, Steve sketching him as the tv droned on next to them. They had dinner planned with Sam and Riley, and Steve had never before felt so content. 

So, in true Steve Rogers fashion, he kicked Bucky in the side. “Hey Buck, we should get married.” He said, and Bucky turned incredulous eyes to him, eyebrows raised. He got up from the couch, grumbling and rubbing his side, and Steve suddenly felt nervous. 

“If you had literally waited a day, you punk.” Bucky grumbled, fishing around in the pocket of his coat that hung on the coat rack, fumbling and cursing, before he found what he was looking for. He returned triumphant, small velvet box in hand, and threw it at Steve. If not for the ribbon tied around the box, this likely would have been an Awful Plan™, as Steve’s catching abilities were rather limited, and he fumbled with the box for what seemed like ages, trying to get a grip on the box. His hands shook, finally holding it in his hands, as he went to untie the ribbon, looking at Bucky who was now perched on the arm of the couch, watching in amusement. 

And there it was, a wedding ring. Steve could feel his throat closing up, eyes shining. In that moment Bucky decided to throw himself on top of Steve, crushing Steve under him. 

“If you had waited literally one day, just one day, this could’ve been romantic. But here I am, throwing a ring at you, and now I have to smother you with this pillow for ruining my plan. Is that what you wanted? Huh? We could’ve had many long and happy years, but now I have to smother you. It’s a tragedy.” Bucky said, face to face with Steve, pulling the pillow out from behind Steve’s back and lightly hitting him on the head with it. 

“Quit it you jerk. Fine I won’t marry you, nope, no marriage for you, unless you get off of me so I can kiss you.” Steve said, voice husky, eyes crinkling in the way they only did when he was truly happy, grinning up at Bucky, who was still pretending to smother him with the decorative pillow. 

“Nope, its too late, I’ve gotta end this. With you out of the picture I can go seduce Tony, he can be my sugar daddy, itll be great.” Bucky said, but rolled off of Steve. Somewhere in the mock smothering he had procured the ring, and in one of his most graceful moves, Bucky was down on one knee, looking at Steve like he was the only thing in the world. “But, I guess I’ll have to settle for you. Tony doesn’t make the coffee how I like it, so it’d be a deal breaker. You, on the other hand, are perfect. Even if you are an insufferable punk who ruins my proposal plans. You are the insufferable, plan ruining punk that I wanna spend the rest of my life with. Whadaya say, Stevie? Will you marry me?” Bucky asked, and Steve rolled his eyes, pulling Bucky towards him and into a kiss. 

“I proposed before you.” He said petulantly, and it was Bucky’s turn to roll his eyes, shoving playfully at Steve’s shoulder. 

“Saying ‘we should get married’ does not count as a proposal.” Bucky said, slipping the ring onto Steve’s finger and bringing that hand to his lips. And just like that, Steve had truly never been happier.


End file.
